The Present

I feel like a child waiting for her birthday present, when I know exactly that My God knows me better than I do. I still didn't get my Carmen poster and KR is quiting her job from the opera and moved to Clifton. I am glad that I don't have to redo the study I have been staring at for the last month. I am so very tired tonight. I need a vacation, really. I am glad JP removed some monkeys on the back of my shoulder. I love her, she's very nice and full of energy. I ended up going to a gay bar tonight with RM and ST only to find myself praying for forgiveness for everyone including me, they all need forgiveness as much as I do. It felt like de javu, cause I knew I had the same feeling when hoping to RC on main street awhile ago with MJB and DDL. I loved the Cheeseheads, they're the best volunteers, I promise I would take pictures of the dollhouse and send it to HL and KR, both of them had talked to me a couple of times. They made me missed high school, but believe me, I am very happy that I am not in high school anymore. I missed RH, I brought her lunch today, she is definitely gonna regret that she missed my eggplant! I am still waiting, God. If there's anything you want to say to me, and if there's anything I need to say to you, please let me know. I am waiting for PW to come back, I need to talk, but I guess he's asleep cause it's five am in Paris. I am just rambling through my thoughts and I don't know why I am always thinking. Every second. Like everything will explode if I don't talk or write. Why is that? We only use ten percent of our brain capacity and yet, we can't handle the way it is thinking sometimes. Right now, I am thinking about how OTRFoundation didn't do a good job in communicating and engaging everyone in OTR to work together to make the SundayMarketsOnMain a success, last week, they had a marching band, but only ten audience came, well, twelve, if you count me on my fire place and my neighbor on his balcony. It would make so much a difference if they engage every entity to contribute to the event so that everyone will have ownership to the events and they would participate. If not, then, there you go, only ten people participated. I talked with RM about this, and he agreed with me. We always agreed on so many things, it's weird, and it almost scared me. There is this very strange, but true, that happened this morning that I want to remember all my life. God, I think, has been talking with me about how I should, first, believe, before I even asked anything to Him. This is not the first time I had this kind of experience. So, last night, I slept on my couch, hoping that I would woke up early (3:00am) to finish my article that I should send to GS this morning for him to review before he's going to vacation. I thought to myself I won't finish this article today, it seems impossible since I haven't found any lead. Then I thought of something I read but I can't remember where, that said,"If you don't believe it's possible, then it's not gonna happen," Then I started to think differently. I started to think that I will finish this article before I go to work (which is 7:30 officially, count the gym and the shower and all good walk in downtown). And you know, what, I finished the article at 6:59am. I went ahead and sent my article to GS although I haven't heard anything from him. I would call him tomorrow to see if he got it. So, you have to believe on what you asked, or else, you'll never going to get it. I guess it's all relate with the power of dream. When you're dreaming, you have this expectation that you don't know if you could achieve it or not. Like I always dreamt of flying, not in an airplane, but flying like superman or a bird or an angel. And I always dreaming that when I die I would become an angel and help people. What a naive dream...Anyway, dream is important to me and I think part of the pleasure to be a human being is the ability to imagine, and to think and to use our brain in its best potential. And talking about dreams, there is one thing we can achieve if we have dreams: goals. A goal is a dream with a deadline, one wisdom said. I guess that's true. And my goal now is getting enough sleep, which I don't seem to have the desire to, eventhough my body seems to know that I needed. May be the SmookingLoonCarbenet made me hyper, ah, no, it was not that much. Anyway, I am sorry for my rambling, it's not for you to comment to, really, that's not really the point of this blog, although you're welcome to, but I just thought if I could combine sentences without splitting it into paragraphs, it would make it harder for you to read it and you won't be able to catch my ramblings at all. Cause, I just love the way this blogger thingie looks and it's stimulate my fingers and brain whenever I see it evolved...good night...